Practice
Following are some conversation starters and approaches for different groups:
Approach with a warm smile and start with something simple:
- “Hi my name is…” or “I don’t think we have met, I am…”
- Ask for help or opinion with something. “Do you have any suggestions about…”
- Start with a compliment and then ask a question about it. “That is a cool bracelet what is the story behind it?”
- “What brought you to this event?” “Who do you know here?”
- “What’s new in your world?” or “What have you been up to lately?”
Ask open ended questions and have interesting and revealing answers if they return the question to you:
- “Where did you grow up?” “What was that like?”
- “What do you do for work?” “What is the most interesting part of your job?”
- “What does a typical day look like for you? “What does your perfect day look like?
- “What activities or hobbies are you passionate about?”
- “What are some of your long-term goals?”
Personal Reflection
1. What’s a defining moment in your life that shaped who you are today?
2. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
3. If you could write a book, what genre would it be and what would it be about?
4. What would be the theme song of your life?
5. How do you define success and how do you measure it in your own life?
6. What is the most valuable lesson you’ve learned in your life so far?
7. What are your goals for the next five years?
Society and Culture
1. How do you think social media has changed human interaction?
2. How can we balance tradition and progress in a rapidly changing world?
3. What do you think is the greatest challenge facing humanity today?
4. If you could change one thing about human nature, what would it be?
History and Future
1. How do you think future generations will view our current era?
2. What invention do you think has had the most significant impact on humanity?
Relationships and Human Behavior
1. What do you think is the key to a successful relationship?
2. How do you handle conflicts and disagreements?
3. What qualities do you value most in a friend?
Science and Technology
1. What recent scientific discovery or advancement do you think will have the biggest impact on the future?
2. If you could have one piece of futuristic technology today, what would it be and why?
Your approach may look different for different friends depending on their personality and the dynamics you have established.
- If you have a more surface level friendship maybe take a risk and occasionally reveal something vulnerable about yourself and see how they respond.
- Give occasional compliments or praise: “Hey I just wanted to say that I really appreciate having you as a friend.” or a more specific comment “I wanted to thank you for…”
- General inquiry “How have you been lately.” Ask with a tone that expresses genuine interest or care.
- Followup on important or difficult events they experienced to see how they are doing afterwards.
We sometimes forget to practice regular gifting with the people we spend the most time with. Checking in and sharing compliments ensure we are conveying our care.
- Compliments or praise
- “How was your day?”
- “How have you been feeling lately?”
- Consider setting a weekly date together with the following format:
1) Share what you appreciate about each other .
2) share anything you may have been withholding (can be positive or negative).
3) share what you look forward to building together.
This is usually the most difficult demographic as you have not built trust yet and may feel intimidated to approach people you don’t know. Remember that many people are lonely, especially the elderly, and would love the chance to receive your gift.
- Don’t be afraid to give it a go and don’t take it personally if you don’t make a connection.
- Standing in line is an excellent place to practice conversation with the people in front or behind you.
People we may not closely connect with such as coworkers or extended family can be a good group to practice deeper gifting with by showing more of an interest in who they are.
- “We see each other often (or many times) I would like to get to know you better.”
This is a fun group because they are getting paid to talk with you. Sharing your gift with them often brightens their day since they are usually used to dealing with people in a transactional environment.
- “Smile and greet them by their name if they have a nametag.”
- “How is your day going so far?”
- “What is the best part of working here?”
- “I bet you see/ hear a lot of…”
Building community is a powerful way to share your gift and shape the culture around you.
- Build community in places you frequent such as the workplace, gym, classes, etc.
- Welcome new people into your group.
- Become a connector and introduce people to each other.
Find someone you can talk with about your gifting experiences and check in with them on a weekly or monthly basis so you can support each other. Contact YBG and we will do our best to help you find a gifting buddy or answer any gifting questions or challenges you may have.